They say all good things must come to an end, but whoever “they” are clearly hadn’t spent their penultimate holiday day at the Sunrise Tucana. After a previous day that left me feeling decidedly second-best, waking up at the civilized hour of 08:30 feeling human again was the first victory of the day.

With a lazy morning officially on the agenda, there was no undignified sprinting for sun loungers. Instead, we had a delightfully slow start to the morning, knowing we didn’t have to rally the troops until 10:30. The plan? Gathering at the edge of our sister hotel to embark on a nautical adventure involving a vessel that couldn’t quite decide if it was a boat or a submarine.

Of Charmers and Camels: The Voyage Begins

We pushed away from the dock slightly later than the itinerary suggested, courtesy of a tardy group we had to wait for. Luckily, the Egyptian crew possessed enough charisma to keep an entire fleet entertained.

The Art of the Egyptian Flatter

It didn’t take long for me to suss out that Arabic men have absolutely mastered the art of flattering European ladies. Tracy and Michele were instantly in their absolute element. Within minutes, the crew had convinced both of them that they didn’t look a day over 25. Throw in some free sweets, a complimentary bracelet for Tracy, and a slow dance to some traditional Arabic music, and the charm offensive was complete.

The Going Rate for a Wife

I am reasonably certain that, much like me, Darren has lost his lady to a smooth-talking Egyptian gentleman. The only real difference in our plights? I was offered a cool million camels for Michele. I’m still doing the currency conversion on that one, but it feels like a solid retirement plan.

Under the Sea (Well, Halfway Under)

After about twenty minutes of sailing away from the mainland, the crew instructed us to abandon the sunshine of the upper deck and descend into the belly of the beast: the glass-bottom viewing chamber.

Now, let’s be entirely honest. While it was a thoroughly great experience, it didn’t quite match the sheer scale of the proper, deep-diving full submarine we experienced off Lahaina in Maui. However, the Red Sea certainly didn’t skimp on the local residents. We were treated to views of plenty of fish, and the absolute highlights were a couple of majestic sea turtles—one having a peaceful rest on the sea floor, and the other swimming freely right alongside our vessel.

The Snorkelling Saga: Drama in the Deep End

Then came the moment to actually get our hair wet. The boat stopped, the fins came out, and the open ocean beckoned.

The Spectators and the Strugglers

Michele took one look at the vast expanse of blue, decided she wasn’t quite brave enough to handle being that far out of her depth, and wisely opted to stay onboard to guard the dry towels. Darren and Tracy bravely made an attempt, but they spent most of their time locked in an intense wrestling match with their gear, struggling to get a watertight seal between their snorkels and their mouths.

A Zebra Fish Safari

I, on the other hand, had an absolute whale of a time. I plunged right in and swam through what felt like a real-life aquarium until the crew practically had to beg me to come back aboard. If you are perfectly comfortable being out of your depth in the open sea, the rewards are spectacular. I found myself swimming through a vibrant expanse of corals, playing hide-and-seek with:

• Zebra fish with their bold monochrome stripes
• Clown fish hiding in the anemones (we found Nemo!)
• Ethereal, drifting jelly fish

Buffet Fuel and Beachside Bazaars

Back on dry land, the morning’s aquatic exertions had left us absolutely famished. We marched over to the international buffet where, in true holiday style, we completely failed to coordinate and each ate something entirely different.

With full bellies, we dedicated the afternoon entirely to the beach. Darren and I couldn’t resist the siren call of the water and headed off for round two of snorkelling. Tracy joined us for a little bit, though she didn’t venture too far, while Michele contentedly paddled her toes in the shallows. Once again, the fish turnout was excellent.

However, settling back into our loungers meant entering the gauntlet. We appeared to be designated “open season” for every single street seller in the region. Each one promised us the deal of a lifetime on everything from extra boat trips to having tiny fish nibble the dead skin off our feet. But we were seasoned travellers by this point; our collective answer to every pitch, as always, was a polite but firm “no!”

Steaks, Strange Souvenirs, and Subwoofers

Eventually, the sun began to dip, signaling it was time to head back to our rooms to tackle the single worst part of any holiday: the arduous, depressing task of packing everything back into suitcases ready for the journey home tomorrow.

With the packing successfully sorted, I met up with Darren for some well-deserved pre-dinner drinks. Tonight was a special occasion, as we were booked into the resort’s steakhouse. I have to admit, I was a little underwhelmed with my fillet steak—it lacked that melt-in-the-mouth magic—but it was hot, it was meat, and it got eaten all the same.

The Coconut Giraffe Incident

Just when we thought the evening was winding down, Tracy decided she absolutely needed to indulge in some frantic, last-minute holiday shopping. What did she buy, you ask? A lamp. But not just any lamp. This particular masterpiece was crafted entirely out of a hollowed-out coconut, meticulously shaped to look like a giraffe. Yes, you read that correctly. It is utterly bizarre, highly impractical for packing, and absolutely magnificent.

We wrapped up the night at the beach bar, sipping drinks and listening to the waves crash in the darkness before finally heading back to our rooms.

The Perfect Finish

Just when I thought the day was done, I flipped on the bedroom television and found absolute gold.

“There, glittering on the screen, was the opening match of the FIFA World Cup between Mexico and South Africa.”

So, while Michele is happily curled up reading her book, I am currently chilling out, watching the football, and soaking up the very last moments of this Egyptian getaway. Next stop: sleep, and then the long journey back to reality.