They say travel broadens the mind, but this year, it’s also a magnificent act of defiance. If you had told me last year that we’d be swapping the land of the free for the land of the Pharaohs, I’d have asked what you were drinking. Yet, here we are. In a collective strike against the orange golfer of Mar-a-Lago, the United States has been firmly struck off the itinerary for 2026. Instead, we have packed our sun cream, gathered our wits, and have been dragged by our fabulous friends, Darren and Tracy, along for an Egyptian adventure.
?Buckle up, because Day 1 alone was a masterclass in airport chaos, miniature humans, and the eternal mystery of duty-free shopping.
?The Great Departure: Precision, Panic, and Punctuality
?Every great adventure begins with a rude awakening. At 07:30 precisely, the alarm shrieked us into reality. What followed was the usual high-stakes dance of the pre-holiday routine: a scalding shower, a rushed breakfast, and the traditional panicked stuffing of last-minute items into suitcases that were already straining at the seams.
?We thought we had everything timed to perfection. We were wrong, mostly because Tracy operates on her own hyper-efficient timezone.
?The Legend of Wigan North Western
To understand our timeline anxiety, you have to understand the history. Last year, Tracy was tasked with driving us to Wigan North Western station for the train to London, en route to Boston. She arrived late in my eyes but early in hers. It became a core memory, a benchmark of pressure.
?True to form, she rolled up to our house a full six minutes ahead of schedule today. Six minutes might not sound like much to the uninitiated, but in the world of pre-flight logistics, it’s the difference between a calm sip of coffee and throwing socks into a backpack while running down the hallway.
?Manchester Airport: The Bag-Drop Betrayal
?Once gathered, the taxi ride from their house to Manchester Airport took a breezy hour. We arrived with high hopes and a sense of optimism that is usually fatal in a British airport terminal.
?At first, the travel gods smiled upon us. The bag drop was a dream—quick, easy, and entirely devoid of the usual soul-crushing queues. We allowed ourselves a moment of smug satisfaction as Michele and I sailed through the security scanners like seasoned diplomats. We stepped into the departure lounge, dusted off our hands, and turned around to wait for our trusty travel companions.
?We waited. And we waited.
?It turns out Darren and Tracy aren’t quite as innocent as they look. Both of them managed to get their hand luggage pulled for additional checks. While Michele and I stood on the safe side of the barriers, we watched them endure the slow, meticulous unpacking of their personal belongings. Note to self: always check what Darren is smuggling before we hit airport security.
?The Duty-Free Black Hole
?With everyone finally reunited and reunited with their belongings, the immediate priority was breakfast. My stomach was convinced my throat had been cut. But alas, hunger must wait when the siren song of discounted luxury items calls.
?Distracted by the Shiny Things
?Before we could even look for a sign pointing toward eggs and bacon, the girls and Darren were violently distracted by the duty-free section. It’s like watching moths to a flame, if moths had credit cards and an obsession with smelling like expensive flowers.
Finally, after what felt like a small eternity of sniffing various designer scents and debating the merits of giant Toblerones, purchases were made. Alcohol and perfume secured, we were finally permitted to eat.
?Round Two: The Post-Breakfast Spree
?If I thought the shopping was over just because we had consumed some calories, I was sorely mistaken. The second the girls put down their knives and forks, they looked at each other with a glint in their eyes. Before Darren or I could utter a word of protest, they were off again. More shopping. I’m convinced that if Manchester Airport opened a branch of IKEA inside Terminal 1, we’d never actually make it onto a plane.
?Flight TUI 737-8: Enter the Child Catcher
?By 13:45, we were down at the gate, boarding pass in hand, ready to step onto the TUI Boeing 737-8. This was it. Egypt was calling. But before we could even find our seats, Michele underwent a terrifying transformation.
?”I Can Smell Children…”
?As we queued in the jet bridge, Michele suddenly stopped, tilted her head, and sniffed the air. It was a terrifyingly accurate impression of the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
?“I can smell children,” she proclaimed, eyes narrowing.
?And bless her, she wasn’t wrong. As we stepped onto the aircraft, it became abundantly clear that this flight was essentially a flying nursery. There were dozens of them. Everywhere you looked, parents were trying to bribe toddlers with iPads and snacks.
?This prompted a grand, philosophical inquiry from Michele that lasted most of the boarding process:
- ?“Why aren’t they in school?” she demanded to know.
- ?“Where are all the wag catchers?” (For those not fluent in Northern slang, she was fiercely hunting for the truant officers).
?Despite the miniature army on board, we pushed back exactly on time. Darren and Tracy were settled directly behind us, which meant at least we could easily pass snacks backward—or turn around and pull faces at them if the flight got boring.
?The Glamour of No-Frills Air Travel
?Let’s be honest: flying to Egypt on a holiday charter is a very different beast from our usual long-haul flights to the United States.
?The Tesco Meal Deal Savior
?There were no seatback TVs to distract us from the crying children. There was no complimentary cabin crew member handing us warm towels or offering us a gin and tonic on the house. If you wanted sustenance, you had to pay the premium.
?Thankfully, we are savvy travellers. We sat there in our seats, entirely unbothered, enjoying the culinary heights of our pre-purchased Tesco meal deals. There is something uniquely British about eating a chicken and bacon sandwich over the Alps while pretending you’re flying private.
?Crossing Continents in the Dark
?The flight itself was beautifully smooth. As we cruised over Europe, the skies were completely clear, offering gorgeous views from the window. However, by the time our flight path brought us over Cairo, the sun had finally surrendered, setting in a blaze of glory behind us.
?Looking out over Egypt, the view was mesmerizing but eerie. It was a vast expanse of complete darkness, punctuated only by small, isolated pockets of twinkling lights scattered across the desert floor like dropped diamonds. It makes you realize just how massive and unforgiving the landscape truly is.
?Welcome to Hurghada: Late Nights and Cheeky Drinks
?We touched down safely at Hurghada airport at 21:20 local time. The Egyptian air hit us—warm, exotic, and a welcome relief from the Manchester drizzle. The airport experience, however, decided to test our patience one last time. It took an absolute eternity for our suitcases to appear on the carousel. Every bag that wasn’t ours seemed to come out twice before our own luggage finally made an appearance.
?5* Luxury Awaits
Luggage secured, we piled into two taxis and made a break for our home for the next week: the all-inclusive, 5-star Sunrise Tucana complex. Even in the darkness of night, the place looks spectacular.
?Check-in was a breeze, the bags were ceremoniously dropped onto the floor of our gorgeous room, and then came the most important decision of the day: sleep, or a drink?
?Micky Taking and Midnight Laughter
?Naturally, we chose the drinks. We met up with Darren and Tracy in the lounge for a few cheeky late-night beverages to celebrate arriving in one piece.
The banter was flying, and the main event of the evening was a healthy dose of “micky taking” aimed squarely at Darren, who took it like a absolute champ. It was the perfect start to the holiday—good drinks, great friends, and tears of laughter.
?We finally admitted defeat and headed back to our respective rooms at 01:00 local time.
?Signing Off from the Red Sea
?Which brings us to right now.
?It is currently 01:53 local time. We are fully settled, the bags are unpacked, and Michele is fast asleep next to me, undoubtedly dreaming of hunting down truant children in the desert. I am finishing up this first blog post, ready to hit publish, and then I am going to collapse into a very deep, well-deserved sleep.
?Egypt, you’ve been brilliant so far. Let’s see what Day 2 brings.
